looking out the window

Back in the days, as a newlywed, when I hadn't clearly released D from any obligation to buy me the somewhat-mandatory-flowers-&-candy, I remember getting this bunch one fine morning. I remember being barely awake when I got these and then rushing downstairs to set it up on the table while making some coffee.

Knowing D, I'd like to think that he didn't plonk his hard-earned money at a department store for this bouquet. I'd like to believe that he bought them from one of the enterprising vendors at the street corner, selling bunches of flowers from local gardens. I didn't ask him where he got it. Or how much he paid for it. That would have been a bit rude back then.

A while back, I was sifting through my old desktop for expendable photos to clear away and make room for new ones, when I found this one pictured above.

I was unemployed then, between jobs, whatever you want to call it. It was back in 2001-2002 when things were a bit bleak for many of us.

I used to sit right at the spot where the camera sits in this picture, look out the window, sip my coffee and brace myself for another day of job-hunting.

The view wasn't great. It was just our quiet street. Some neighborhood cats. Some nice trees. Some busy squirrels. Some chirpy birds...

While sipping coffee, I would dream of getting my kitchen certified, and making exotic Indian pickles, chutneys & relishes, and selling them via local health food stores. And then shrink back because all it takes is one dissatisfied customer to kill the market.

I would excitedly make small batches of soaps with pure essential oils and hand-package them like little gifts hoping to sell them online. But worry that sensitive skins might leave some very unhappy people mucking up my Karma. (Thanks Mom, for giving me your oils and other paraphernalia so I could try making my own soaps).

I would crochet like crazy, determined to make enough hats, scarves, afghans and vests so I can get a spot in the Saturday Market to sell them.

To heck with my Master's degrees, I had to do something productive to sustain ourselves till things got better...

I couldn't get my tiny apartment kitchen certified because quite on an impulse, we adopted 2 kitties barely a few weeks old, litter-mates & brothers, who have been with us since.

They were playing in the bushes across the street and it was only a matter of time before they got squished under a passing car. We couldn't sleep knowing that. We had to rescue them.

The Mamma kitty was very sweet. There were 3 in that litter. We brought one home first. But, couldn't leave the other two out there.

When we went back, we found the second but not the third and only female in the litter. I had already named her "White Socks", even though we didn't have any names for the two we brought home. And any time we passed a similar looking kitty in our neighborhood, I wanted to believe it was my little White Socks, refusing to entertain the other more plausible alternative.

And, of course, I couldn't afford to rent an already certified kitchen for my use... Oh Well.

I had it easy for a long time as my parents paid for my education. Managed grad school with tuition waivers and teaching fellowships. But, it seemed like life outside, on my own, was not turning out to be as easy.

Helps build character, they say...

I am rambling on... Today is one of those days... It'll get better no doubt.

This photograph brought back some memories. I am glad I found it.